Alongside better pictures – “they all need better photos” – Oloni thinks that Holly is being way too vague in her profile. “She needs to show us a bit more of her personality,” she says. “If she’s well-rounded, if she’s multifaceted, she needs to show that.”

Oloni notes Holly’s apprehension about coming off arrogant or boastful and says that, while it’s entirely normal to hype yourself on your profile, there are some easy ways to signpost features of your personality without blatantly bragging about your best traits.

“If she wants to show us that she’s smart, she can probably share that she’s a ‘booklover’,” Oloni argues. “No different from someone who’s sharing their love for the arts saying that they love going to the movies or that they watched 300 films. I think she just needs to find ways to get it across without saying, ‘I am funny ha ha ha.’ If you’re funny, say something that you find hilarious. It can be one-liners, for example, that she feels comfortable expressing. Simply sharing a joke that’s not OTT.”

” Dan’s problem she argues, is that he simply lists basic biographical information about himself rather than revealing things about himself that show why he could be a good date – or even an interesting person to get to know.

“He needs to put a bit more effort into his dating profile and to switch things up,” she tells me. “Tell us something interesting about you. What’s a fun fact about yourself? What are your interests? What are your hobbies? Put a bit more effort in and you can basically attract someone with the same hobbies or interests.”

Dating profiles are supposed to be fun and quirky, so he needs to show that he’s an outgoing person

“He needs to put more effort in with photos as well,” Oloni says. “He needs to take better photos, find photos of himself where he’s gone on holiday. He needs to ask himself as well, if he saw his own dating profile, would he think that person is serious about dating? Not a commitment, but even just looking to date properly and seeing if it could go somewhere, or do they think that that person would just be down to fuck? What would he think? You know, you can tell when you look at a person’s profile if they’re quite serious or if they’re looking to date or if they’re just there for a hook-up. You can kind of get that. So he needs to ask himself what is this reflecting? And just give himself a total brand-new start.”

The advertiser

Charlie Palmer is a Planner at Uncommon – a creative agency in London that has worked with brands such as ITV, the World Wildlife Fund and YouTube. “A dating profile, like an advert, has a specific goal,” he tells me. “It has a specific behaviour it wants to promote. In this case, the goal is just to start a conversation. That’s the furthest the profile can get you – after that, your actual personality has to take over. The profile doesn’t get you a girlfriend, or even a date. There’s no point trying to say loads of different things in your Tinder bio.”

Looking for: A serious relationship. “What’s the point in having fun if there’s nobody there when you have a rubbish day at work? Who’s there to share your good and bad days, your achievements? Who’s there to help pick you up when you’re down? And, ideally, that’s what I’m after. Something real. Something proper.”

Liam’s perfect day is actually pretty simple: nice meals, walking his dog, spending time with his family and skydiving for the first time. But despite his intense interest in being in a serious, romantic relationship, his day doesn’t mention a partner at all. Instead, it mentions dating as happening the night before and meeting potential prospects at random points between other activities.

Oloni agrees that many of Liam’s dating app problems stem from him revealing his job title. “He needs to tone down what he does,” she says, “and when it comes to a job like that, it’s not really something you should be screaming about on the internet anyway. It’s not supposed to be taken too seriously and he needs to remember that.”